You may be familiar with the expression “Charity begins at home.” Sadly people often use it as an excuse not to give to the poorest of the world because there are poor people living in their own community. In some cases, people who want to spend their money on themselves quote this proverb as an excuse to avoid giving at all.
We believe that “charity begins at home” has a different meaning. In its pure form, charity equals love. The “at home part means you begin with charity toward yourself. The statement becomes far more powerful when you understand it as “Love begins with you.” When you are charitable with yourself, when you love yourself, then you are more capable of giving to others – and you are more capable of receiving.
Many people may find it difficult to receive, for a variety of reasons. We believe that every person has to learn to receive as well as to give. My friend Joy, a singer, told me about her difficulty in receiving: “I now consider giving and receiving to be a complete action. To give without receiving, or vice versa, lacks integrity and wholeness. They are like two sides of the same coin. Yet I’ve found it difficult in my life to complete the cycle by receiving. As a singer, I would find it difficult to stand on stage and ‘allow’ the audience to give me their applause. I was uncomfortable and wanted to cut them off and scramble offstage.”
She realised that the audience needed to give applause for what they had received. So now she waits for them to finish their applause before she leaves the stage. “Some people find it terribly difficult to receive even a sweet, simple compliment. I tease my friend that a compliment sticks to her like an egg to Teflon! So, yes, giving and receiving is a complete whole, loving transaction.”
So start with yourself this weekend. Gift yourself the grace of giving and receiving wholeheartedly.