Negative Effects of Ego

Some of the effects of negative ego include:

1. Weakens collaboration with others – Egotists can’t see beyond their own immediate interests. They overlook the benefits of interdependence and the synergy derived from diversity.

2. Diminishes authenticity – Egoists cannot be authentic, because of the incessant need to protect their image even at the expense of denial. Their fear prevents them from acknowledging and appreciating the gifts of others.

3. Creates a scarcity mindset – Egotism breeds insecurity and jealousy. The fear of losing out increases and others appear as burdens or competitors.

4. Builds barriers to learning – Ego is the latch on a closed mind. Egotists abhor any show of vulnerability and hence are closed to any new learning. Being unable to accept criticism, they cannot gain any insight. Without openness, people lose awareness of what reality is and end up making unreal choices.

5. Promotes fear and distrust. Egotists are always watching fearfully over their shoulders, worrying that someone might overtake them. They want constant attention, sympathy, and flattery and make unreasonable demands. This makes them overly competitive, a sore loser, and a perfectionist.

6. Encourage destructive behaviours. Recognizing and dropping this false ego means letting go of all that is deceptive or artificial about us, and reclaiming our true magnificence, our positive pride.



Attending to a difficult discussion with someone close can lead to either a lot of arguments & stress or objective discussion leading to a mutually beneficial outcome.
Keep your eye on the goal to create the breakthrough.

To achieve the latter, you have to be calm with only one objective in mind which is to create a mutually beneficial outcome.

Having done so, you can then share your feelings and watch with pleasant surprise a breakthrough in your communication.

Negative Ego!

Putting others down opens us up to having our own turn at being put down. The Sufi, Nasruddin, tells the following story:

A proud grammarian once took a boat ride. On the way, the grammarian asked the simple boat driver if he knew grammar. The boat driver replied that he didn’t know grammar as he hadn’t gone to school. The grammarian replied that he had wasted half his life. A short while later, the water got rough, and the boat started sinking. The boat driver asked the grammarian if he knew how to swim, to which the grammarian replied that he didn’t. The boat driver remarked that all his life would be wasted since he would now drown.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Thus, there is no need to discredit others.

The hidden roots of a tree are its unseen foundation. By not having any desire to show off its might, the tree humbly conveys a quiet statement of strength.

One minute video from Azim

Happy to be Unhappy!

Fun games with water on the lake.

Some people sabotage their own happiness. When things are going well for them, they find a way to create a problem, which in turn ends up making them unhappy. This is motivated by a feeling that they do not deserve to be happy.

When they go back to their unhappy ways, they blame others for their misery. This could be due to low self-esteem or even a self-conditioned low confidence. It is hard to help such individuals because they often refuse help.

This situation can arise at work and home. In both cases, cutting ties is never easy. However, if you can build trust with the individual, and inspire them to be objective, things may gradually change.

In other situations, that may not be the case. And if that is the situation, then don’t take it personally – it is not about you – some people are just happy to be unhappy!

Lifelong Process!

Woman Walking Along Path In Autumn Woodland

The moment you feel you have conquered ego, you become most vulnerable to getting back in the ego zone.

This happens because the very perception of having conquered ego, re-invites ego – “I” have conquered ego. In that statement alone, the “I” (ego) has already crept in.

Conquering ego is a lifelong process requiring vigilance, grace, and humility to accept that you will never completely eliminate ego until the day you die!

Progress certainly can be made, and you would want to accept that progress with humility. Here are some thoughts and tips to help you make that progress:

– Are you happy?  Are you fulfilled?  If not, there’s a connection with ego.

– Center yourself when you get frustrated. Frustration is a sign that your ego is putting more importance on you, and wanting everyone else to comply. Instead value diversity – value the differences in others and see their strengths.

– Ask people who are close to you what they think about your behaviour and actions. Do they see you as egotistical? Be objective about their response.

– Ego takes you away from the present moment. While you’re completing an important assignment your thoughts take you to the past and future. Realize this is happening; catch yourself, and refocus on the task at hand.

– Observe your thoughts periodically, and ask yourself – “What am I thinking about?” You’ll be surprised that every thought has some ego connection. Evaluate your thoughts – how many are ego driven? Replace the ego-driven thoughts with actions that make a difference to one and all.

– Reflect on whether you have superiority complex or inferiority complex as both arise from ego. Stop playing the comparison game. Instead, shine your light and inspire others to shine their light.

– Avoid the self-sabotage. The habit of always looking at limitations rather than possibilities.
Have a habit of responding to things rather than reacting.

– Look at things that are working for you and express gratitude. Work on your self-esteem in terms of positive pride – that you have been created to be of service to others.

-Reflect on the purpose of your life and enhance your passion. Meditate with an aim to transform ego through the realization that you’re one with all and the creator.

The above thoughts and tips will help you make progress but not completely vanquish ego.

Genuine Caring!

Group Of Friends On Walk Balancing On Tree Trunk In Forest

Being nice, caring and loving is an excellent quality.

When you are extra nice to your spouse, parent or child because you love them dearly, it is a good thing.

In business, when you go out of your way to help a client because you care and want to help them succeed, it is a great trust builder.

However, being nice should not be at the expense of authenticity or transparency, thus leading to resentment.  If it does then the attitude of being nice may be stemming from ego. At first, you will say, how can being too nice stem from ego?

Upon reflection, you will realize that to be true. If your attitude of being nice comes from being too worried about other people’s opinion or wanting to be perceived as a ‘nice guy’ then it is not coming from real love or real caring. It is coming from being self-centered and ego!

Being nice, caring and loving is an excellent quality if it is grounded in authenticity and transparency!

True Love!

Decorative fabric heart  hanging on the blue wooden background

The expressions of love are some of life’s greatest puzzles, which we navigate on a continual basis.

So, what are some ways people express their love?

Some expressions include:

-love through poetry

-love through gifts

-love through kind favours

-love by a show of gratitude

There are many ways to express love. However, in the eyes of the deepest lover, true love needs no poetry, gifts, favours or gratitude. It needs just that – true love! Unencumbered; universal…unconditional.

For instance, a mother’s love is unconditional. It is ever present even when at times it appears not to be. A child intrinsically knows that a mother will love him or her no matter what.

Yes, there are exceptions. Mothers have been known to forsake their love for their children. But thankfully, these are rare exceptions. For the most part, a Mom is forever a Mom; and the epitome of true love!

True love is without a singular language. It can not be defined and/or translated by a single prose. It is said that ‘the tidings of the deaf are felt by the blind’. But, how is that possible? Simply put, true love transcends everything!