Attending to a difficult discussion with someone close can lead to either a lot of arguments & stress or objective discussion leading to a mutually beneficial outcome.
Keep your eye on the goal to create the breakthrough.
To achieve the latter, you have to be calm with only one objective in mind which is to create a mutually beneficial outcome.
Having done so, you can then share your feelings and watch with pleasant surprise a breakthrough in your communication.
Once in a while you will find that you just cannot get going.
You try to work in different places but your body does not respond. You eat different types of food or drink coffee or eat some sugary stuff to get the energy to buckle down and start working, but you find the rejuvenation short-lived.
When this happens your body is telling you it is time to rest and have a lazy day. If this happens too often then there would be a cause for worry. However, if it is once a month it is fine. When you go full speed for many days your body will tell you it is time to refuel by resting a bit.
It boils down to balance. There is a time to work and a time to play and a time to pray. Just like we have seasons in the year similarly we have seasons in our life journey. Enjoy the ride no matter what.
What do you do when someone is unreasonable and uses inaccurate justification?
You have three choices:
1. You also become unreasonable and/or use inaccurate justification. This will surely make things worse for both of you.
2. You just ignore the person and become indifferent. Sure, this may be better than the above approach, but will still not solve the issue.
3. You make a concerted effort to understand the unreasonable behavior and inaccurate justification at a deeper level to see what the reason behind this behavior could be. This has the highest percentage of initiating a breakthrough process.
If you want a behavioral change in others, you must begin by changing the way you look at their behavior. Then, follow up with having a dialogue that’s rooted in their paradigm, repeating in your own words what you understand they are saying. This makes them feel validated and heard. This opens the door for you to share with them how you personally see things.
The final step is to make the problem ‘before you’, not ‘between you’. This way it is not ‘him against you’. It is to some extent mutually beneficial, without accepting unreasonable demands. This approach will yield the highest chance of achieving success.
If for some unforeseen reason this process does not work, then a stronger approach is validated.
Keeping calm under pressure gets more done than panicking.
Meditation means sitting quietly, doing nothing, and being empty of all thoughts. It is a vehicle that allows us to connect with our spiritual core. Meditation relaxes and stills the mind of its endless chatter and clutter. Meditation can be practiced in many different ways, but the purpose remains the same — attaining spiritual enlightenment.
How do we prepare for meditation? We need to prepare both body and mind. The preparation for the body is easier than the preparation for the mind. We can prepare our body by not abusing it through harmful habits such as taking drugs, smoking, and drinking alcohol. Regular exercise and healthy food also help to get the body ready for meditation. Sufis say that deep breathing helps us relax and thus helps the practice of meditation. The relaxed body improves concentration.
Preparing the mind for meditation is more complicated than preparing the body. Some psychologists say that an average human being thinks as many as 60,000 thoughts per day. Of these, approximately 50,000 thoughts are of the past and 10,000 thoughts are of the future. We are either thinking of the past or of the future, making concentration in meditation difficult.
To be able to concentrate well we need to be in the present moment. If we meditate at a busy time of the day, our thoughts are at a peak and it is difficult to concentrate. If we meditate at a time when we are relaxed, we have a better chance of progress.
To meditate, we must be comfortable with silence. For many of us, though, silence can be an uncomfortable experience. Why is silence important? If we want to connect with the Divine Light that permeates the universe, then we need to tune into it. This can only happen through silence. Spending time near nature as often as possible relaxes us and puts us in the mood for silence and meditation.
Another way to facilitate meditation is to look at our paradigms — the way we see the world. If we see the world as mean and rude, it will interfere in our concentration.
Changing how we see the world can help improve our concentration. Our negative thinking, which stems from our worldview, is similar to carrying 20 bags of luggage on a trip. This baggage will make our trip miserable, and progress will be slow.
Despite all these different strategies for preparing for meditation, it is normal to have our thoughts come and go while meditating. The key is not to fight the thoughts, but to embrace them. Think of a feather in a river. What does the feather do? It floats without fighting the river.
If we do the same, we will find that our thoughts will not interrupt our meditation. If we fight the thoughts, they will keep coming back. The real power of concentration lies between the thoughts. Thoughts come and go. The longer the space between each thought, the better the concentration.
Like anything else, if we continue to practice, the art of our meditation will improve. Regular practice of meditation is one of the best ways to cultivate spiritual enlightenment.
(Excerpt from the book, The One Minute Sufi by Azim Jamal)
You are complete as you are. Yes you have flaws but who doesn’t? You have more flaws than others and fewer flaws than others. This will always be the case no matter how much you improve.
Accept yourself the way you are and then make it your goal to get better and better every day in every way. Evaluate your progress based on how far you have come from where you were.
If you come from a place of lack then more lack will show up in your life. If you come from a place of abundance, more abundance will show up in your life.
For more tips on inspired living, read our latest book, ‘What You Seek is Seeking You’ by Azim Jamal & Brian Tracy.
Love is not a convenience that you use when you feel like it, and discard when it is not convenient.
Love is not static but reverberates in every pulse of your being. Love is a verb, it is displayed in action and deed. It radiates in every fibre of your being.
When your loved ones see you do they witness a twinkle in your eyes, a genuine smile on your face, a joy that is exuding and a message on your brow saying “I will be honored to be of service to you!”
To test your genuine love, observe your behavior when someone close needs your help. The truth may awaken you.
For more tips on how to enhance your personal life, read our forthcoming book, ‘What You Seek is Seeking You’ by Azim Jamal & Brian Tracy.