If you have noticed that a certain negative behaviour in you has not changed over a long period of time, it is because you have not identified and overcome the root problem.
This behaviour could be in you; your colleague; your family; or somewhere in your sphere. Most people deal with symptoms and wonder why the problem is not going away. I have noticed some people go through this cycle for months and even years before identifying the root problem and overcoming it.
What kind of memories will you leave for your loved ones?
Your loved ones will not remember what you said but rather remember what you did. As it is said that: With words, you can only preach, with action you teach.
Today marks two years since I lost my Dad. Actually, it was not a loss. He was always a gain; still remains so, and will continue to be forevermore.
He was a man of few words who taught through action, not words. He was confident and strong, yet humble and gentle. He never missed a moment to say a kind word; provide positive feedback or notice something good.
He always found it a joy and a blessing to get the opportunity to contribute his time and efforts to his community and society at large. He had very little need for recognition; fame or credit. For him, making a positive impact was the biggest reward.
He was insightful and wise; an effective leader in the community; a family man, and a sound businessman. For my Dad, his greatest happiness came from making others happy! He was always a joy to be around.
I miss you, Dad. Thank you for your love and inspiration!
These are just some of the fond memories my father left me. Memories that inspire me every day to aim for being like him.
What about you? What kind of memories will your children have of you? Create the fondest memories with your loved ones. The types of memories that will inspire them beyond your life!
Life has a way of disrupting the best-laid plans, and sooner or later you are flung into the whirlwind of change. More so in the current context, where disruption and uncertainty are the norms.
Our age is marked by accelerated human evolution. New patterns are very rapidly replacing old ones. Today, no one remains immune to change. According to a recent Forbes article on ‘Is Strategy dead’ by Rick Smith, the average life expectancy of a Fortune 500 company has dropped from more than 80 years to fewer than 15 in the last century. Consumer behaviour has undergone unprecedented change. Babies today leave the hospital with a blanket, an iPhone, a Facebook page, and a Twitter handle.
While the industrial revolution was all about the business-to-people narrative, the dawn of the social media era has now shifted the focus to people-to-people – with communities, collaboration, and co-creation being the new buzzwords.
According to a report on the evolution of technology and the human race by Karl Fisch, Scott Mcleod and Jeff Brenman, the top 10 in-demand jobs in 2010 did not even exist in 2004.
Today you have to continuously learn and relearn in order to remain relevant. The long-term strategy has given way to “just-in-time” decision-making.
On the other hand, this change has also created a whole new platform for the human capability to flourish. For confident and resourceful people, change spells opportunity. They’re willing to venture out of their comfort zones to embrace change and use it to their advantage.
Change is always exciting when you choose it yourself. As a choice, it’s not an unwelcome threat, but a welcome adventure. In this way, every new minute becomes an opportunity to work; to get closer to our purpose, or to learn from the experience.
Chosen change bolsters your resilience. It enables you to adjust to new circumstances and bounce back from adverse developments.
Change, if viewed as a positive step toward growth and opportunity, can invite balance and infuse vitality, aliveness, and zest in your life. But change, if mishandled, can result in an imbalance.
So how do we leverage all this movement, and use this change to our advantage rather than allowing it to sweep away all that is valuable to us?
Here are some things you can do to respond constructively to change:
• Become adaptable. Develop and put in practice an ever-ready and continually evolving repository of life and work skills to adapt and thrive in change
• Embrace change. View it as an opportunity for growth.
• Be willing to take risks.
• Anticipate change and prepare for it. For example, keep a lookout for upcoming market trends and take courses or attend classes to prepare for the forthcoming developments.
• Use major crises to create breakthroughs.
• Engage in lifelong learning to stay abreast of change.
• Keep your principles intact despite the change. They are your anchor.
• Use change to break bad patterns or unproductive habits.
• Grow from your experiences of changing circumstances. Write about your experiences to ingrain and track your learning.
• Realize the rewards that come with change and celebrate them.
• Connect with your spirituality. Meditate daily to remain centered and grounded amidst the chaos of change.
This is the time to plunge into the vortex of change that we anticipate, create, leverage and thrive on.
Knowing how to find sense and meaning in challenges, problems and even tragedy is an important skill for anyone. Begin learning by going back in your life and recalling how you reacted to your own past challenges, problems or tragedies, and how some of your friends, family or colleagues reacted to theirs. You will notice positive and negative responses. Learn from them— noticing which ones were helpful, and which ones caused sadness or stress.
If you reflect on how the problem or tragedy is going to impact you 10, 20 or 50 years from now you will see the problem in a different light.
The Lebanese poet Khalil Gibran said: “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding” and the 12th century Sufi poet Rumi said: “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” In other words, No wound, no light! When you are hurt, your heart and soul is open to receive the light of wisdom and insights.
Prophets, saints and holy people all had their share of sorrows. Why would people so close to divinity go through this unless there was some merit in going through it. Also many great successful business people and sports stars also went through many ups and downs before achieving success. One of the message that we get from this is that when breakdown happens it can lead to breakthroughs in life!
Exactly 20 years ago today, at 10 AM on the tenth day of the tenth month, I received a phone call that would change my life.
The call asked me if I’d like to volunteer my time for the Focus Humanitarian Assistance Agency helping refugees in Asia. At that time, I was a senior partner at a successful accounting firm, resplendent with three accounting degrees ((ACCA, CFP, CGA/CPA) and the trappings of success. The phone call came to me when I was consulting with a client who had won multimillion dollars in Canada’s national lottery.
My inner voice and the encouragement from my wife made me say yes, and what I would go on to learn shook me to the core. These refugees had nothing and were forced to live their lives on a knife-edge. But some inner strength gave them a resilience that affected me profoundly. If they could handle such adversity, what was I doing with my comfortable life? Then came the decision. I would jump off the cliff backward and devote my life to speaking and writing about ‘giving’.
Not that it was plain sailing. I struggled immensely in this new career for many years. However, if I was to turn back the clock, I would do the same all over again! I do not remember a single moment in these 20 years, barring one, where I doubted my decision. The only exception was after I had spent countless hours writing my first book but still could not get it onto bookstore shelves. This low point was followed by yet another sign via a book that fell into my lap. This book, written by an author who had once contemplated suicide, sold 10 million copies. And this nudged me into thinking – if he could do it, why can’t I?”
Today, exactly twenty years later, not only am I a hundred times ahead in my new career than I was in the accounting career but also I have lived a dream life of 20 years and continue to do so every single day. Therefore the 10:10:10 moment was for me a priceless lottery winning!
How about you? Do you have your very own 10:10:10 moment?
When you have a stressful matter to deal with, you can procrastinate or meet the challenge head-on.
Avoiding to face reality, causes unnecessary worry and anxiety. You start fabricating in your mind the potential consequences, many of them never happen. Nonetheless, you play them out in your mind, compounding your stress.
Instead, if you address your challenge head on pronto, you will be pleasantly surprised that it is actually not that bad.
When reacting in anger to unreasonable behavior, we naturally feel justified to do so. Some experts may even suggest we need to do so.
However, the key question to ask yourself is – how do you feel after your angry reaction? Do you feel good or do you find that your next few hours are spent recovering from your loss of calm?
When people behave unreasonably, it may quite possibly be because of something to do with them, and nothing to do with you! Yet we take their behavior personally and often compound the problem.
If ever you find yourself in such a scenario, be fully cognizant of the situation, as well as vigilant of your emotional reactions. This type of control and understanding makes you responsible and the master of how you feel.
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