My son Tawfiq was acting up this morning while I was trying to get him up for school. He was not cooperating and I was tempted to hop the parental bandwagon and give him a lecture. However, it being the first day of the month and fresh start to the morning, I decided not to go there. Instead, I kept my calm and not react to his behaviour. I made him a hot drink to take in the car and gave him money for lunch and train ride on the way back. We were running late to school but I drove without rushing.
We made it to school in the nick of time and by that time, we had bonded and connected!
Now you might say I bribed him by making him a hot drink and give him money for lunch and train ride home. Maybe. However, if I had become angry and in lecture mode, we would have both started the day and new month miserably. We probably would have also been late to school. If I did not give him the hot drink or money for lunch and train ride, he would gone through the whole day of school hardly having eaten. And on the way back from school, my wife Farzana or I would have to fetch him! No one would win in the end.
Instead, I chose to talk to him after school about planning his day the night before including making sure he had packed his lunch, and had gone to sleep early so he could wake up early. At a time when we are not rushing to school and are calmer this conversation is more effective.
As Dr. Stephen Covey would say: who is winning when your child takes you on? No one!
How about you?
How do you react when confronted by someone be it your child, spouse or colleague?
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