When someone stirs you with comments that are inaccurate and hurtful, do not react. When you react, you usually either defend your position or show anger. Both these positions are counterproductive and perpetuate the situation, leading to more unhappiness.

Responding is better than reacting because you take the opportunity and time to understand the comments another is making and his or her perspective on the issue. You do this without anger or defence. Then responding in a positive manner without anger or defence.

Most often the best approach is to surrender without anger or defence. This is the fastest way to diffuse the situation. When you respond in this manner, you do not squander your creative energies on people who like to suck up your time and energy.

Often, the time and energy saved by surrendering becomes constructive and focussed when you learn to recognize the signs of reaction.  Remember: respond, don’t react!

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