You can do almost anything in life but not everything. When two desirable values contradict each other, it’s necessary to strike a balance.
Meritocracy, effectiveness, and efficiency are valuable qualities. But what do you do when they clash with pluralism, diversity, principles and values? You strike a balance.
Life is a series of balancing acts. You have to make choices of what to do and what not to do. You have to pick up some things you desire and drop others.
But how can you make those choices? You do it the same way you make choices between what you want in a house or car and what you can afford.
You have to decide which capability is the most desirable or practical for you.
Few tips to help you along the path and maintain work life balance:
- Be Authentic in all you do – You are unique. There has never been anybody like you, or will ever be. So find out what makes you special and don’t be afraid to express it and live it. Making shortcuts or leaving something half done or not done well, never goes down quietly. It affects the outcome and ultimately creates dissonance with your inner self. Do little, but do it well. Let everything you do be a statement of who you are and you will see life will begin to simplify.
- Articulate Realistic Goals – Writing down your goals crystallizes your life purpose and helps you to identify and root out all that doesn’t support you. Plus we have to remember that every life choice we make will have consequences, both pleasant and not so pleasant. Acknowledge that, accept that and move on. For example if you have decided to be a stay at home dad or mom, decide what lifestyle changes you might have to make and what financial impact that decision will have, if at all on your life ahead. Once decided, don’t dilly-dally in your weak moments. And make sure you create a back up plan to support to most important goals on your agenda.
- Power of the hour – I call it the Power of the Hour. Spend 20 minutes every day to meditate, 20 minutes to exercise, 20 minutes to read something uplifting. If you create this magical hour an imperative part of your everyday, it will give you the much needed space to center yourself and get a head start to balance.
- Learn to say no –Caring for others is an admirable trait. But what do you do when meeting another’s needs would put you flat on your back? Remember the flight attendant’s pre-takeoff instructions: Put the oxygen mask over your own face first; then you won’t pass out while you’re putting it over the face of the other person. If you’re flat on your back, you can’t help anyone. So learn to say no, whenever needed, politely and firmly. Don’t lose the integrity of your own personal space in a bid to be more or cater to other people’s expectations of you. It might feel uncomfortable in the beginning. But if they value you, they will understand you.
- Create an undoing list – If we pay attention, we might discover that we are doing many things during the day just because we are conditioned to do so or because we have never given it a thought. Often these activities serve to only clutter your day and do not lend anything to your life purpose. Hence instead of making a list of things to do, spend some time to make an undoing list. Ruthlessly pull out all that is mindless, purposeless or does not make you happy.
- Build a Support Infrastructure – Know that life is an interdependent phenomenon and that we all are interconnected. Nobody can flourish in isolation. We all need one another. Hence don’t be wary or guilty of asking for help. Create a good support infrastructure around you. Whether its hiring help or an assistant or a housekeeper, or simply sharing chores around the house with your spouse, everyone needs to pitch in to do their share. You can be your best only when you have the time to be your best.
- Be spontaneous – All said and done, we have to remember that life is infinite and unbound. It cannot be bottled up in neat little packages, to be opened when deemed appropriate. There is quote by John Lennon which brings alive my point, “Life is what happens to you, while you are busy making other plans.” So keep that spark of spontaneity alive in you. Grab each opportunity that life throws at you and make the most of every moment. And simultaneously also learn to let go. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Finally life is a work in progress and you have to constantly work at keeping a balance.