If someone says something hurtful what happens to you? If you feel hurt for a short time, it is normal. However, if the hurt continues, negative ego is creeping in.

When someone says something hurtful, the question to ask is: Why is the statement hurting you?

⁃ Is it because someone is undermining your competence?
⁃ Is it because someone is making you look small and useless?
⁃ Or is it because what someone is saying is actually true or has an element of truth and you don’t like hearing it?

Truth is truth and no one can change it. If you are competent, you are competent. Someone saying that you are not competent does not change that truth.

Similarly, when people make you feel small and useless it does not make you small and useless. If you are a useful person then that’s who you are and no one can change that truth with an opinion. Usually, those who insult others see the world not for how the world is, but how they are! Therefore, reacting to their limited view is not necessary.

This does not mean you have a license to be in complete denial. You want to be objective so you can learn from the incident. If someone is sharing the truth or puts forth even an element of truth, and that truth is what it is hurting you (difficult to admit), then it is wise to take heed.