When someone close to you, like a spouse, complains about your behaviour you can defend, attack back or listen intently.
When you defend or attack back, the problem gets prolonged and becomes an energy drain with usually no clear winner! Why? Because each one is caught up with their view and not wanting to listen to the other.
However, if you listen intently and try to understand and see the issue from the other’s perspective, you get a different viewpoint altogether.
Being a good listener and applying the principle of ‘no defence’ works well, especially with close ones.
After things settle down and both people are calm, you can reiterate and appreciate the other’s viewpoint, and you can now share your viewpoint in the most succinct way you can without any sarcasm.
This approach is the least energy draining and the most effective! Try it next time you get an earful from your spouse or partner!