When someone says something that puts you down or really upsets you, do not react and hit back.
Let me explain why. By not reacting or hitting back you diffuse the derogatory remark. If you react or hit back, you enhance and give the comment energy.
Now it is very difficult not to react. How do you improve in this exercise? Practice it before it happens. Usually the people who make you defensive are few and close ones. So when you are sitting quietly by yourself role play a negative comment which is usually a recurring one. See your blood boil but choose to say to yourself: “I would much rather be peaceful than be right. By someone saying something does not change the truth.” And experience not reacting and feeling peaceful.
However, you want to differentiate between denial and objective refusal to react. Denial is where you are ignoring the truth.