“Grief, if you allow it, becomes a teacher. And loss, in its own way, points you back to purpose.”
When you lose a loved one, no words or wisdom can truly prepare you for the depth of that void—especially when that person has walked beside you for so long and is suddenly gone. But in the stillness that follows loss, something unexpected begins to stir. Something profound. Something deeply human.
When Sheryl Sandberg lost her husband Dave Goldberg in 2015, she turned to psychologist Adam Grant with the same question many of us ask in heartbreak:
“How much resilience do I have?”
His response changed her healing journey:
“Resilience isn’t fixed—it’s built.”
That insight became the foundation of their bestselling book, Option B, which reframes resilience as something that can be developed—not just something you’re born with. Her story—and many like it—reminds us: profound loss can ignite renewed purpose.
1. Loss Sharpens Your Focus
When someone you love is gone, the noise of life falls away. The urgent emails. The endless to-dos. The distractions.
They fade into the background. What remains is what truly matters.You begin to ask:
- What am I really here to do?
- Who do I want to be when no one’s watching?
- Am I using my time wisely?
After my wife’s passing, I was reminded: Time is not guaranteed—but it is sacred. Loss strips away the illusion of permanence and brings us back to what’s real. That clarity becomes the fuel for authentic purpose—and more meaningful giving.
2. Loss Deepens Your Relationship with Time
We know time is limited—but we rarely feel it fully. When someone who filled your life with joy and love is no longer here, time takes on a new meaning. Grief redefines time—not as something to spend, but something to cherish.
You begin to:
- Linger longer in embraces
- Choose presence over distractions
- Understand that time isn’t just what we have, it’s what we give
3. Loss Instills an Urgency to Live with Purpose
Loss brings a powerful question into focus:
“If today were my last, would I be proud of how I spent it?”
Purpose stops being a distant concept—it becomes an intention you live, daily.
It’s no longer about legacy later, but impact now. Loss doesn’t just leave a void. It offers a quiet but urgent invitation: Don’t delay what matters.
4. Loss Expands Your Capacity for Compassion
Pain can harden us—or it can soften us into something stronger.
When we choose the latter, we:
- Notice others’ suffering more deeply
- Listen with more empathy
- Forgive more easily
Everyone you meet is carrying an unseen burden. Losing my wife didn’t close my heart—it opened it. Not in weakness, but in grace.
Purpose, I’ve learned, isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s quiet: showing up, being kind, staying present.
A Story of Compassion: Ryan Hrelja
Loss doesn’t always have to be personal to awaken purpose. At just 6 years old, Ryan Hreljac, a Canadian boy, learned that children in Africa were dying from drinking unsafe water. Though he hadn’t experienced personal loss, Ryan’s compassion sparked a mission. What started as a school project grew into the Ryan’s Well Foundation, which has now brought clean water to over 1.5 million people.
His story reminds us:
Even the smallest hearts can create the biggest ripples—when compassion meets purpose.
5. Loss Reminds You of Love’s Enduring Power
Though my wife is no longer with me physically, her presence surrounds me.
Her laughter, her spirit, and her values—they live on in everything I do. And perhaps the greatest truth is this: Love never dies.
Purpose grounded in love is unshakable.
At the end of our lives, it’s not what we build or accumulate that defines us.
It’s how deeply we loved.
Final Reflections
Loss breaks you open. It hurts—deeply.
But it also awakens, clarifies, and strengthens. If you are grieving, I honour your journey.
Let your sorrow teach you.
Let it clarify your purpose.
Let it remind you: you are still here.
And because you are, you have the sacred opportunity to live and give—for yourself, and for those who no longer can.
In my wife’s memory, I choose to walk forward—with more humility, presence, and devotion to what truly matters.
Because in the end, that’s all we take with us. And all we leave behind.
With love,
Azim Jamal
Sources & Further Reading
One Response
Azim Bhai,
Your words are a balm to the soul. Thank you for opening your heart and reminding us that even in the depth of loss, love can still light the way forward. This reflection is a sacred offering to all who grieve—and a gentle call to live with greater purpose.
Reading this felt like a quiet prayer. Your journey through loss, and the wisdom it has uncovered, honors not only your wife’s memory but all who walk through grief in silence.
This piece made me pause and breathe. In a world rushing past grief, your words remind us that healing begins in stillness. The reframing of time, presence, and purpose is something we deeply needed to hear today.
Loss has visited our life too, and much of what you’ve written resonates at the core. Especially the idea that “purpose stops being a concept and becomes an intention we live.”
This is a guide for soulful living. Your reflections show us how grief can become grace, and how even heartbreak can be transformed into healing for others. A stunning tribute to your wife, and to the human spirit.
What a powerful reminder that purpose is not something we find after the pain, but something we often rediscover because of it. Your story breathes hope into the darkest spaces. Thank you for showing us that love, and purpose – truly endure.
“Grief, if you allow it, becomes a teacher.” What a profound truth.
Thank you, Azim Bhai, for showing that love doesn’t end with loss—it evolves into legacy, into compassion, into quiet acts of purpose. A deeply beautiful offering.