When someone says something hurtful, the question you have to ask is: why is the statement hurting you?

⁃ Is it because someone is undermining your competence?
⁃ Is it because someone is making you look small and useless?
⁃ Is it because what someone is saying is actually the truth or has an element of truth and you don’t like listening to it?

Truth is truth and no one can change it. If you are competent, you are competent. Someone saying that you are not competent does not change the truth.

Similarly, when people make you feel small and useless it does not make you small and useless. If you are a useful person then that’s who you are and other people cannot change the truth with their opinion.

This does not mean you are to be in denial. You want to be objective so you learn. If someone is saying the truth or has an element of truth and that is why it is hurting you then it is wise to pay heed. Sometimes these people end up being your best teachers!