Q_FamilyI am no counselor or relationship expert. However, I do run into relationship issues while I coach business executives.

What I have noticed is that the biggest lament for women in a relationship (marriage, common law) is lack of expression, appreciation, and priority.

Women find men to be misers in expressing their love and appreciation and give priority to other things (business, sports) compared to the relationship.

Men, on the other hand, are confused. No matter what they do, women can find fault with them.

If men started to take every opportunity to express their love and appreciation and assign priority to their relationship and women started to pick their battles, things can improve. It would be good to do a weekly checkpoint of how this is working out as follows:

⁃       what worked well last week?
⁃       what could have been done better?
⁃       what are the goals for the coming week?

I believe when an important relationship is rock solid in terms of communication, respect and understanding the rest of the challenges are far easier to handle. When the foundation of an important relationship is shaky, the rest of your life gets impacted!


lavender and note

lavender and note

Integrity acts as a beacon, guiding your behaviour and attitude.

Integrity is the state of being, when what you say or believe in is in sync with how you act. It means choosing to do the right thing irrespective of the circumstances or consequences.

A person with integrity will exhibit it as part of his or her character, and not simply part of a particular role in their life. If they are true to their word, then they will exhibit this quality in all of their interactions.

Without integrity, all competencies and resources can function, but they fail to find any consistent or meaningful expression.

Some of the ways to enhance your integrity include:

➢ Define integrity – Once you have chosen your set of values and principles, write them down. For example, a conscious declaration lends the power of conviction to your personal or company mission statement. It then acts as a beacon, guiding the behavior and attitude of you and your team.

➢ Do unto others as you would have them do unto you – This is the cornerstone of integrity. At all times, maintain an objective, sensitive and fair approach towards everybody. Keep confidential matters confidential, and uphold the trust placed upon you. When we treat others as we ourselves would like to be treated, our actions are aligned with our highest self.

➢ Accept responsibility – Accepting responsibility means relinquishing ego and taking an objective look at what is needed to resolve the situation and then doing it sincerely.

➢ Be open to feedback – from all quarters, including customers, colleagues, juniors and body . Although integrity is the guardian, the values and principles integrity upholds have the potential to evolve over time. Therefore, ask for ideas to enhance yourself. Be conscious of your words and actions and how close they bring you to being the person you want to become.

➢ Be utterly reliable – Ensure that whatever you create is your best, even for such everyday matters as routine documents and quick emails. Honor your commitments. If for any reason you can’t, tell people in advance and suggest an alternative. Remember, everything that you say or do is a reflection of who you are. Make it count.

The only way to safeguard integrity is to ensure that we, at all times, are guided by a conscious awareness of who we are choosing to be.


Closeup photo of bass guitar player hand, soft selective focus, live music theme, black and white

When J.K. Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter novel, 12 different publishers rejected the book. Even Bloomsbury, the publishing house that finally purchased Rowling’s manuscript, advised Rowling to get a day job.

Walt Disney was turned down 302 times before he got financing for building Disney World.

Harrison Ford moonlighted as a carpenter to support his young family before getting his first big break in movies.

It is not surprising then that Thomas Edison once said, “Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.”

Here perspiration implies both hard work and perseverance.
Perseverance is often the deciding factor between having a dream and living it. So how do we grow this quality and make it a part of our being? The answer lies in the acronym “PERSEVERE”.

P- Purpose – Purpose lies at the core of perseverance. Every story of perseverance derives its strength from the purpose around which it revolves. If the purpose is ambiguous or weak, it will not sustain you on your path for the long haul. It is therefore important to define your purpose, find out what really makes you tick, and set out a plan of action. Identify potential challenges you could face and develop resources that could help you navigate them.

E – Enthusiasm – Enthusiasm is the positive energy you bring to every task. It forms the key ingredient that spurs you when times get difficult or the wait seems endless. The easiest way to boost enthusiasm is to do what you love, or love what you do. On top of this, learn to see the silver lining in every moment. Surround yourself with life affirming thoughts that encourage you to scale new heights. Practice gratitude. Think of five things that make you feel thankful every day.

R – Resilience – Resilience is the ability to bounce back whenever you fall down. Resilient people don’t allow setbacks to slow them down, but use them as stepping-stones to their success. A setback becomes a failure only when we decide to stop trying.

S – Support – We are all interconnected and inter-dependent. It is a good idea to involve people in our dreams and help them achieve theirs. Invite, welcome and acknowledge support from family, friends or mentors, as well as strangers.

E – Efficiency – Make sure your daily actions and processes are imbued with efficiency. Efficiency happens when you identify and consistently practice a set of best practices in your field.

V – Values – During any change or crisis your values and principles will keep you from feeling lost or unbalanced. They will serve as beacons helping you make the right choices, rather than acting from fear or confusion.

E – Eliminate – Eliminate all that is unnecessary, irrelevant and takes you away from your purpose. Clutter distracts your mind and weakens your drive.

R – Review – Make it a habit to regularly review your tasks and identify patterns or actions which have led to maximum results. Simultaneously, rethink, change or eliminate all that is no longer serving your purpose.

E – Elasticity – this refers to flexibility. Remember that life is a spontaneous and dynamic process. While it is important to keep your eye on your purpose, many times you might be called upon to take unfamiliar detours in your journey. But while you do this never lose sight of your larger goals.



closeup of red poppy on cereal field

The more you give to family, the better the relationships at home. This unity invites love and harmony.

The more you give to colleagues, the better the camaraderie at work. This fellowship enhances your productivity and performance.

The more you give to customers, the better the loyalty you build, and ultimately, a better bottom line.

The more you give to the community, the better the environment you create for you and your family to live in.

The more time you give to others, the less time you need for getting things done, mainly because of the help and support others will reciprocate.

In addition, when you truly give, you unleash your creativity; inspire innovation, and tap into your potential.

If you cannot give money – give love, hope, laughter, skills, wisdom, ideas, attention, and a listening ear.

Also, when you are gentle and give to others, you are generally gentle and give to yourself.

The benefits of giving range from security and empowerment of better relationships to good health, longer life, and happiness.

Ask yourself:

– If you are blessed with insights, wisdom, and health—what is your giving responsibility?

– If you are blessed with a loving family—what is your giving responsibility?

– If you are blessed with wealth and success—what is your giving responsibility?

In closing, remember – to those whom more is given, more is expected in terms of contribution!

Effective Leadership

Climbers team on the top. Sport and active  life concept

Effective leadership is one that draws from the strengths of others. It is about awakening what is half asleep inside people. This requires that we inspire people to discover their innate abilities.  In a corporate setting, such leadership is crucial to business success.  The ability to unleash people’s potential, to energize them to use their talent and to work towards a common goal is the master skill of a true leader.

Leadership is about making leaders of your followers. People learn best when they have to teach others, so it is about unleashing the spirit of empowerment and involvement. There is so much richness within each person to be discovered. Until it is discovered, it will forever be absent from the workplace. It is the role of effective leaders to nurture this richness.


writer's workplace - wooden desk with vintage typewriter  and other supplies

Deadlines create momentum.  People who work under deadlines tend to keep up the pace and point their efforts toward the finish.

Here are some tips for accomplishing difficult or long-term tasks:

– Break the task into bite-sized segments.
– Delegate.
– Reward yourself after small accomplishments.
– Share specialized help.
– Create milestones.
– Get started.
– Keep going.

Therefore, if you find that you are postponing some important work, set yourself some mini-deadlines and get going. We usually procrastinate when we’re uncertain, or find the work ahead of us difficult or unpleasant.

The key is to get started, even if it’s doing nothing more than taking the file out onto your desk and writing a heading.  Once you get started, you create a momentum for yourself.

As you work on a task, you build momentum.  When you drop it to take on a different task, you lose the momentum on the abandoned task, and you have to build up a head of steam on the new task.  A habit of finishing the task you started creates efficiency.  It allows you to sustain your momentum, and you get an extra boost from the satisfaction of seeing the task successfully accomplished.

This extra boost will help you get started on the next task.

Genuine Understanding!

Two Children Having Breakfast In Kitchen Together

If you spend time and understand others by listening with your eyes, ears, heart, undivided attention and without judgment you will already be halfway there.

I did a presentation some time back for a cancer group. I started by saying: “If I say to you I know and understand your pain, I will be lying to you. The truth is I don’t. I do not have cancer and do not know how it feels to have cancer. So help me understand how you feel and what your biggest challenges are?

The group responded by expressing thoughts like:

“Why me?”

“I feel a loss of control.”

“I’m angry.”

“I’m afraid.”

These are real issues and no quick-fix solutions. I did my best to respond to them, but the fact that I took to the time to ask the question and be attentive to the group’s feelings was important. The participants felt their feelings were valued, so they responded well to the presentation.